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My Only Remedy

(Here is a brand-new song. As it is young, it is still vulnerable - Handle with care. Please let me know what you think of it.)

MY ONLY REMEDY

Change is always good, that’s what you said to me. I believed you, and that was my mistake. Water from the well, that’s what you’re selling me. I just won’t buy it – I just can’t buy it. Jesus on the left, you on the right of me. Mingleing between grace and mistakes.

How long my brother?

My only remedy is you. You’re caught up in all I do. My only remedy is you. Where did we go wrong? Thinking we needed to be strong.

Maybe this can’t work out like I need it to. I’ll just need to learn to give and take. Words are all I have at my disposal now. Mingleing between grace and mistakes.

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this side of glory (iowa 2001)

Poet scrapes the bottom of the hole he’s made his living on; Sailor drops anchor, deep in his lonesome sea; The man who speaks for millions can’t seem to find his voice; The musician hurst his hand defeated by a missing score.

And they’re all two miles from home, yes son gone, they’re just holding on to this side of glory.

The lady that he pictures in the red dress by the table Her skin shows in the moonlight, while she holds his baby boy He’s adding up the number of the days left in his cell What he did was out of anger, now he’s sure he’s going to hell

And he’s two miles from home, yes son gone, they’re just holding on to this side of glory.

They sing hallelujah, amen.

Strange magical elixir, a man sells it by the road We’ve been lining up for ages, turning copper into gold But it only shines from the inside, it seems to shine when there is pain So I’ll walk among these strangers, our journey will remain

And we’re all two miles from home, yes son gone, they’re just holding on to this side of glory.

They sing hallelujah, amen.

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leaving this behind (iowa, 2001)

It’s a shadow game, behind the pictures of my life Catching the mystery train, the text of history falling down on me I am sitting here listing all th places I won’t be no more And I am trying to see just where this journey is going to lead me

I’m disillusioned (oh I am breaking down), but I am encouraged (yes I am holding on) True intending (to see this through), but I hear me telling you

I’m leaving this behind

Now here’s a moment, an enlightening delicate moment Caught in a photograph, it’s black and white but I see its colors Look at me, a different body and a different face Look at you, amazing beauty, trapped in time and space

So catch me, I am dancing with completely different feet We may stumble across the patterns on a different street But my blood is still red, though it turns blue when I think of you And inside my head, that’s where I know it’s always true

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let them go (headphone mix)

i cant afford a thing you sell, i cant deliver what you need, which leaves me feeling broke and cheap, aware of this control i need eyes to see you as myself, ears to hear you plain and clear, arms to hold your wretched head, lips to speak the things i fear

ive climbed a tree inside my mind, and when i made it to the top, i saw my mother as a child, she cried until her fever dropped when it ends where will these feelings go, will i even need to know, the truth will never meet my needs, i guess i need to let them go 

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the things we love (headphone mix)

i knew this house, it swallowed me, it took me in when i was young, within its walls, a different sun, it heard all the songs i sung like the love of a man i once knew

these broken pictures of you, their all i can see, and when i asked what can i do, you glanced down and said

its the things we love, what we choose to love deep inside, their our deepest blood, you cant run and hide, at least while youre alive, from the things you love

your family, you said they chose, all the wrong things to love, youre warning me, is that wha† this is, revela†ions in my sleep like the love of a friend i once knew

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the way the fool behaves [headphones mix] (gr, mi)

help me feel your pain today, i’ll share mine with you  real soon this mistake that keeps you far away, this pause from who you are for real it only moves inside this room, it only takes a bit to grow let’s call it what it really is, a part of you you can’t let go the way the fool behaves, he dances with the slaves, the mark he freely gave, the way the fool behaves

what is it you want from me, explaining this will only make you to think you understand, we’re both fools at wishing wells

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my world (2007, gr, mi)

a new tune, with old music.  steve deruiter and i.

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silent night

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holy man (2005, grand rapids)

when i am not working with the new midwest, i am part of a hip hop, folknastic, pure jazz, metal, inspirational group called elanor dartmouth and the beaver. my collaborator is the ever-fuzzy, and always buzzy, philip koole. we are developing a project in which songs are written and recorded in under 90 minutes. this is our first track, written the day after the pope died.

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waving tree (2004, grand rapids)

this song has been threatening to make its way onto a new midwest set list or cd, but we never know how to make that happen. the waving tree is a big pine tree by my folk’s place in saugatuck, mi. it waved at me one day, and made this song come into my head. the lyrics are a bit wordy, but they seemed to work ok–actually, they would probably be a better poem than song. anywho, enjoy.

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